Wednesday, September 4, 2024

IF I VENTURED IN THE SLIPSTREAM

 


Could you find me?Would you kiss-a my eyes?To lay me downIn silence easyTo be born again



 

There you go, there you goStandin' in the sun darlin'With your arms behind youAnd your eyes beforeThere you goTakin' good care of your boy

 



And here I amStanding in your sad arrestTrying to do my very bestLookin' straight at youComin' through, darlin'



I got a home on highIn another landSo far awaySo far awayWay up in the heavenIn another timeIn another place




||||||





8.11.24 
Spreading Ashes
~A Favorite Fishing Spot~
Nestucca River, Oregon


Thank you - Kevin, Art, Jay, Hattie, Doug,
Steve & Michelle, Char,  Rita, and Raine

Lyrics by Van Morrison - "Astral Weeks"

Thursday, August 8, 2024

THREE MONTHS



 \\

HOW ARE YOU? \\ ?


    I feel very strong and positive. 

        I know that I will live in Dan's love forever.




I see myself and think. I am ::

\\ capable.
Tender.
    (loved) \ Resilient.



I also feel sick with grief. 

It is so   B  I   G  and achey
inside my chest.

I often whisper over and over, "Dan!"






 \\

HOW ARE YOU INSPIRED TO KEEP GOING
WHEN IT IS HARD? \\ ?

        
Honestly, there is so much sorrow in the world and I feel mine is a tiny speck within it all. 

I am not alone.

I'm inspired to help others - those who are suffering, 
who need hope.



And, Raine.






HOW IS RAINE DOING? \\ ?

\\ He is his father's son.
Their shared : qualities are showing when he comforts me--

    \\ kind, thoughtful, caring, quick wit, optimism. 





And after writing about Raine on this blog for the past 12 years,
I now know there is only so much I can share.
He is a young man now.
His own individual.






***

He desperately misses his father.
He takes it a day at a time.

***







\\\ I always knew losing his father would change him.

It has only made his heart bigger. //


 

TUCSON JUNE 2024

 


We went to the desert and it rained...

Thank you Randy, Taylor, Jack, and James for hosting us in our time of grief
and being there for us. We made special memories!



Best buds!


I lit candles for Dan and my mom at the historical San Xavier del Bac Mission.


Me and T.


Wine tasting at Charron Vineyards!




All of the readings....All of the magic.


Plenty of pool time.


And play time.

CELEBRATION OF LIFE - LEMONT

 


Celebration of Life
Pollyanna Brewing Company
Lemont, IL

Bar Crawl to Follow...
Thank you to everyone who came and made this such a fun celebration!---Just like Dan would have wanted, although we didn't get to do karaoke....Maybe next year? Thank you Uncle Al for the special Dan buttons and magnets, Kristi for being my date, and everyone who made it to the last bar where Dan's favorite pickle back shots were waiting. :) 















Wednesday, August 7, 2024

MEMORIAL SERVICE & CELEBRATION OF LIFE - PEORIA



THANK YOU to everyone who helped make this day possible--bringing my tiny secret vision in my heart to life to honor Dan; the venues, flowers, music, food, av/tech, readings, photos, and everyone who attended both in person and virtually! And thank you the MOST to my sweet son who held my hand and comforted me all day.



 






Ecclesiastes 3


It is written:  For every thing there is a season, 

and a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die;

A time to plant, and a time to reap;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

A time to break down, and a time to  build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

A time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to mend;

A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;

A time for war, and a time for peace.





“I Go Among Trees” by Wendell Berry


I go among the trees and sit still.
All my stirring becomes quiet
    around me like circles on water.
My tasks lie in their places
    where I left them, asleep like cattle.

Then what is afraid of me comes
    and lives for a while in my sight.
What it fears in me leaves me,
    and the fear of me leaves it.
It sings, and I hear its song.

Then what I am afraid of comes.
I live for a while in its sight.
What I fear in it leaves it,
    and the fear of it leaves me.
It sings, and I hear its song.

After days of labor,
    mute in my consternations,
I hear my song at last,
    and I sing it. As we sing,
the day turns, the trees move.




“Things” by Jane Kenyon (Also shared at our wedding in 2004)

The hen flings a single pebble aside
with her yellow, reptilian foot.
Never in eternity the same sound–
a small stone falling on a red leaf.

The juncture of twig and branch,
scarred with lichen, is a gate
we might enter, singing.

The mouse pulls batting
from a hundred-year-old quilt.
She chewed a hole in a blue star
to get it and now she thrives….
Now is her time to thrive.

Things: simply lasting, then
failing to last: water, a blue heron’s
eye, and the light passing
between them: into light all things
must fall, glad at last to have fallen.





translated from the Bengali by Lilian M. Whitehouse

       We are indeed children of Light. What an endless mart goes on in the Light. In the Light is our sleeping and waking, the play of our life and death.
      Beneath one great canopy, in the ray of one great sun, slowly, very slowly, burn the unnumbered lamps of life.
      In the midst of this unending Light I lose myself; amidst this intolerable radiance I wander like one blind.
      We are indeed children of Light. Why then do we fear when we see the Light? Come, let us look all around and see, here no man hath cause for any fear.
      In this boundless ocean of Light, if a tiny lamp goes out, let it go; who can say that it will not burn again?