• Awesomeness,  Bipolar Disorder,  Dan,  Dr. Singh,  Gifts,  Gratitude,  Hobbes,  Hope,  Marriage,  Sunday Sunday

    Sunday, Sunday – Edition 1

      We survived another week! Time for another. Things that made me smile … What made you smile? The kindness and generosity of somone who is going to help us get Hobbes treatment to remove the tumor on his tummy. Creating a new playroom for Raine so that he can pretend he is an American Ninja Warrior. Vegan cookies from Cyd’s. My options are thin for a dairy allergy, so when in Peoria … Buy 4 cookies and live large! ( I would share a photo…But you know it! I ate them so fast.) Catching up with friends. Celebrity name drop! TAYLOR BLACK. JON BYLER DAN. ALLYSON PATTERSON. The support…

  • Adenocarcinoma,  ALK,  Anxiety,  Beer,  Bipolar Disorder,  Cancer,  Coping,  Crappy News,  Dan,  Flowers,  Grieving,  Leah,  Lung Cancer,  Metastasis,  NSCLC,  Radiation,  Scanxiety,  Tumors

    After MRI Results

    Dan is super chill. There just isn’t much that can ruffle him. He gets scanxiety (scan anxiety) just like the best of us, but he never really worries or freaks out. The only way I know how to describe him to people is that he is “zen.” There’s not much that can ruffle his feathers. He keeps an even temper, always maintains his sense of humor, and is focused on the simple things each day. I know this sounds super amazing–and I get that. However, I just have to share a caveat that I am MARRIED to him and have loved him for nearly 15 years and that which is the…

  • ALK,  Bipolar Disorder,  Cancer,  Chemotherapy,  Dan,  Dr. Duffy,  Gratitude,  Hydrophrenosis,  Laughter,  Leah,  Lung Cancer,  NSCLC,  Optimism,  Raine,  Tumors

    Guess What? I’m Still Here. And It’s February!

      I ended the year 2015 with a bit of a bitter back glance (and a secret note to the future that I had better not get any more s**t.) This might come as a surprise because I talk so much about joy, gratitude, and hope in my writing on this blog. The truth is, after a year like 2015, full of a desperately sick husband on chemotherapy, a mother increasingly lost to me in the impenetrable fog of her own mind, closing two businesses that I started in good faith, crushing financial problems landing us in the office of a bankruptcy lawyer, and essentially pushing myself to the limits of…

  • Anniversary,  Anxiety,  Bipolar Disorder,  Dan,  Depression,  Leah,  Raine

    One Year Later: Bipolar Disorder and Chocolate Chip Cookies

    As the one year anniversary of Dan’s diagnosis came and passed, I had nothing to say. My world that I created to survive his diagnosis was not stable; it was darkly fracturing. Pins of pressure were poking at me from every angle–The anxiety about Dan’s condition and prognosis, trying to be a good mother, trying to be a strong and capable wife, starting a new graphic design business, and the revolving anxiety about my mother’s condition. To everyone who has asked me, Leah, How do you do it? I could no longer provide an answer. I can’t do it. I had to explain to Dan how I had self-medicated and…