• Cancer,  Dan,  Grieving,  Illness,  Journaling,  Leah,  Memories,  Nature,  Oregon,  Raine

    Three Deer

    At 11:00 p.m. Monday night I drove down our street away from our house, turning left at the stop sign onto 7th street. I slowed as a mule deer caught my attention; she stood in the middle of the street surrounded by a soft, hazy strip of white from a single streetlight above. She didn’t move. My hands, slightly trembling, fell from the steering wheel to my lap as I sat still, watching her, my foot held on the break, waiting. She inched forward a few times, her gait slow, wandering, and then she stepped into the grass. There, another deer stood with a fawn. I watched them as they stood together for a few…

  • Adenocarcinoma,  ALK,  Cancer,  Chemotherapy,  Dan,  Grieving,  Illness,  Leah,  Lung Cancer,  Metastasis,  NSCLC,  Raine,  Rocco,  Tumors

    Medical Update: The Left Lung + Platinum Chemotherapy

      Let me do my very best attempt to bring you up-to-date with Dan’s health. After the last CT scan, we did in fact proceed with two more platinum chemotherapy infusions (pemetrexed, ruxolitinib, and cisplatin) -rounds 5 & 6. After round 5, he was bed ridden for a week. His taste buds and other fast growing cells continued to struggle at the assault and he lost his tolerance for more food–cheese, garlic & onions, potatoes, for example. I tried not to worry as I woke him periodically for his meds, water or juice, and small bits of food. It was difficult to get him to eat much at all. One night I woke him and he…

  • Carlton,  Chemotherapy,  Dan,  Grieving,  Holidays,  Honestly,  Illness,  Joy,  Leah,  Love,  Parenting,  Photos,  Raine,  Video

    Christmas 2014

    These are all photos taken by our talented friend, Christie, for our holiday cards. I can’t even tell you how much I love them. We were at Cana’s Feast, and those are my beloved mountains in the background. I’m not one to wear bright red, or even put Raine in bright red, but it happened by chance at the last minute when I raided his hand-me-down boxes and my latest LuLaRoe shipment. I think we look super cute. There is such a great deal of joy radiating from these photos, and that makes my heart swell. I designed a holiday postcard that reads JOY and shares our wish for joy in…

  • Carlton,  Dan,  Family,  Friends,  Grateful,  Holidays,  Illness,  Love,  Photos,  Raine

    One Week in Photos 12/2 – 12/9

    What a busy week! The holidays have our calendar full. Looks like cancer won’t be slowing us down! I started the week trying to take Raine to the gingerbread village decorating party for Valley Emporium, but he only lasted about ten minutes (long enough to pick out our candy decorations, eat a bunch of them, and then lay down on the floor and tell me “I want to go home.”) I’ll try again next year and hopefully have better luck. Christmas in Carlton has been a lot of fun for us. We took Raine on a horse-drawn carriage ride, picked up our Christmas tree, and visited Santa. This is the first year…

  • Cancer,  Grateful,  Illness

    He Is Sick, But He’s Not Sick

    Well, yes, we know he is sick. He just spent 7 days in the hospital and his discharge summary lists his hospitalization diagnoses as: Adenocarcinoma (lung), pleural effusion, pulmonary emboli, acute respiratory failure with hypoxia, lung mass, and brain mestastases. Lord almighty. We have told everyone in the world by now that he has cancer. Friends and family have come to Oregon from all over the country. A corner of our cabinet in the kitchen is now full of medications, alcohol swabs, and treatment records. Dan has alerts in his phone to remind him of his pills. Twice a day I have to give him an injection of medicine to…