I have always thought that I would have one anniversary; the one to celebrate the marriage to my beautiful wife of 12 years.
Little did I know that I would be celebrating another one. Today is my anniversary. My two year anniversary, to be exact. The anniversary of the diagnosis that I have been living with since.
To hear that news presented to you in a cold and grey hospital room, and then to speak it to your wife ... is something that I hope no one needs to go through in their life.
But we had to move on.
In the life of Raine, two years went by in a flash.
In the life of living with cancer, these two years has crawled at a glacial pace. I feel like it has been double that amount of time. Dealing with the doctors appointments, treatments, and weird health things that pop-up; it seems to never end.
I can watch and enjoy the growth of Raine’s vocabulary, penmanship, and charisma, and it is amazing to see the changes in two years!
In the life of cancer, there is more “waiting” than experiencing, which is probably why it seems to drag on.
I am happy that I am currently stable. Key word - stable (not cured).
I can walk Raine to school, I can play golf (in a cart), and I am in good spirits most of the time; however, I sometimes feel a loneliness creep in.
We had the most amazing outpouring of love, donations, and visitors when we let everyone know my diagnosis. It is impossible to put into words the amount of love we felt toward our family!
Now, two years later, things have calmed down. Which in a way, is nice.
I do feel like I am now going through life being perceived as the “normal” Dan
but I know the cancer is still there lying in the weeds……
I am always around to talk. Some of my favorite things are when I hear from old friends, or get a quick check in from someone on Facebook, or share a beer with a friend at a local establishment. I don’t want to come off as needy, or self-absorbed. I just want you to know that those little things--they make my life happier. It shouldn’t just be me either! Tell those friends in the virtual world, or real world, that you love and care about them every once and awhile. We get our blinders on, and sometimes miss what has shaped us into the people we are today.
Let’s end this on a positive note! I am stable. I have other treatment options at my disposal. I am the “normal” Dan at the moment. I have made it two years already, and no one knows how long I can go. Even if it is at a glacial pace, I am enjoying taking in all the moments at this snail-like pace.