Medical Update

Hello, friends.

I write to you this afternoon from my kitchen table with Sufjan Stevens playing and my laptop flanked by a glass of 2014 Giovanni and a small bowl of tiny blueberries from our yard. It’s not a bad June afternoon.

Which reminds of one of Dan’s all time favorite songs… "June Hymn" by The Decemberists

Dan is doing very well. We are 9 months post-diagnosis of stage IV lung cancer (metasticized NSCLC Adenocarcinoma) and feeling very grateful for his subsequent ALK genetic diagnosis because we feel gifted with more time than we would otherwise truly be running out of. We were given a family getaway to Sunriver Resort by Seeds of Hope and enjoyed a long weekend the last four days just enjoying private time for the three of us (a post on that to follow soon).

Dan continues to have maintenance chemotherapy sessions every 3 weeks and scans to check the status of the cancer every 6 weeks. His next scan is in 1 week. I will write an update. I’d like to say that we manage to rise above the jolt of regular scans, and not live life according to them, but it is easier said than done. For the most part, Dan focuses on work and the regular routine–doing what needs to be done and obeying all of the worried women in his life (wife, mother, sisters-in-law, nurses, doctors, LOL), as well as monthly counseling.  I have taken up jogging, pilates, and counseling sessions. We also focus on Raine and our special time with him. This is the best we can do to manage anxiety and fears. (I also do a fair amount of retail therapy.)

Dan is doing the best physically that I have seen  him since his diagnosis. (Hurray!) The aftermath of his pleural effusion, radiation treatment, and first round of chemotherapy treatment (cisplatin being the worst offender) has only left a small wake of chronic fatigue, peripheral neuropathy, and a head of fluffy hair with a bald strip on top that Dan refers to as his “reverse mohawk.” His red blood cell counts are maintaining longer than before, trending higher for longer each month. This means less blood transfusions and more energy for longer work days and playing with Raine. He even cooks and mows the lawn again.

It is safe to say that we are emerging from our cancer-diagnosis bubble and realizing the world just keeps going–spinning, evolving, humming–and there is enough catch up to do. We need to tour preschools and decide where to send Raine in the fall. Our lease with our tenant on our condo ends in two months and we need to use that opportunity to sell the property. I closed my business selling LuLaRoe in February but failed to get to all the fine print and tie up loose ends. So I’m tackling that as well as slowly starting a graphic design business, Herzing Design Haus, (details coming soon). I’m waking up to phone calls about medical bills and realizing my paperwork is a disaster all over the place and I never got financial aid apps completed….Cringe. Our fundraising money is almost gone. I’ve noticed that on my To Do list for the past 9 months, I’ve had only 1 item that never managed to get crossed off: BUDGET. I promise it will happen this month.

Neighbors and friends of friends have also been diagnosed with cancer. We donate to other web sites. Family and friends conceived babies and are due this fall and winter. We are realizing it is time to pencil in some quality travel time now that we successfully went to Sunriver. Next up: The beach, Crater Lake, Disneyland, and Europe!?

Summer is here with a cry of sunshine, a generous garden of vegetables and herbs, and enough festivities and celebrations to keep us busy on the weekends for three months straight. I don’t mind–Dan feels good. Let’s live life.

What I am planning to do next with this blog is chronicle it all a little bit more timely and concisely. I have received such positive feedback about my writing and sharing, that, combined with my use for it as coping and processing, I feel lead to bring things up a notch on this site and dedicate more of my time to blogging and possibly earn income for it to help us.

SO. Expect a complete redesign within two weeks and regular posting to begin in one week. Please, please, please, if this blog has been of value to you, SHARE it!!! And COMMENT on the blog. [If you follow links from Facebook, resist the urge to comment on the Facebook link. I will receive better sponsorship if my stats are good based on comments on the actual site. Also, it feels more personal and lovely to me. :)]

More to come, very soon…! Thank you for all of your support, lovelies.

One Month in Photos: Learning to Cook & Fun with Raine

Cool, rainy days here in our wintry Oregon / Raine just keeps growing like a weed that I can’t keep up with…

Lots of doctor appointments and tests and treatments for Dan / A lot of rest / Some play with Raine / Trying to work and feel normal / Life has slowed down…We all hold each other often.

Raine makes friends so easy / Plays hard (and then sleeps hard) / Exploring new places and routines with mommy / Loving superheroes and shopping at Target with gift cards / Growing very attached to stuffed animals and talks about their names and what they like / Every night he asks daddy or mommy to tell stories about our day and what we all did.

Many “Mommy days” where I am Raine’s sidekick from 8:00 a.m. to 10 p.m. / When the sun is out, we get out and enjoy it.

I wrapped up my final business events / Gave myself some fun design projects / Tried to get out with girlfriends and enjoy myself here and there / Learning to cook…I’ve set a few things on fire but I can officially make Raine pancakes and Dan spaghetti now. PROGRESS.

One Week in Photos 10/28-11/11

We said goodbye to Dan’s mom, Char, on his first chemo day -Thursday, October 30th. She had stayed with us for for 23 days. For some people, this could sound like a mother-in-law nightmare, but I am so fortunate to say that it was a mother-in-law miracle. I love Char so much and cherished all of her time here. She is an unbelievably strong, sweet, independent, devoted mother. More about her time here in another post!

Raine was an eagle for Halloween and pretty darn adorable. We used a gift card from family to order the costume from Pottery Barn Kids. They are high quality and ridiculously cute costumes. I almost want to save this one and pass it down to Raine’s child someday. Despite Dan’s first chemotherapy session the day before, he felt good and we had a fun evening of trick-or-treating on Main Street in Carlton, dinner with the Ritchie family at Barrel 47, and more trick-or-treating on our street for Raine with his daddy.

I couldn’t help but take a photo of our ironic Halloween night. On the one hand, the usual treats–candy, delicious baked goods from Melissa, and a bottle of wine. On the other hand, our pills, a neti pot, and  a thermometer. It is important for us to take Dan’s temperature twice a day to make sure he doesn’t have an infection while his immune system is compromised by the chemo.

My bestie Hattie

 Hattie came back to help again and was here for my event & a little wine-tasting on the side. The vineyards are absolutely gorgeous this time of year. So much to be grateful for. I love this photo. I love Hattie.

LuLaRoe / Republic of Jam Fundraiser!

We had a very special event last Saturday here in Carlton. I had my Fall Trunk Show + Fundraiser at our beloved jam shop, Republic of Jam, and several other businesses on Main Street participated by offering specials for our customers and contributing. The amount of people that came out to support us was overwhelmingly wonderful. I felt the love from afar, too, from everyone who ordered clothing via text message and jam online. 

Taking care of his yard

Days 4-6 of Dan’s chemo round were when he felt most fatigued. Day 4 was dedicated to sleeping heavily the entire day. After that, he improved through the week. He made it out to the yard for mowing and edging and pulling weeds. He walked Rocco to stretch his legs. We watched a movie together while he rested on the couch and I worked on my laptop. He helped me with bathing Raine. By day 8, he was back to work. We hope he will be able to continue to work while doing chemo rounds. He loves it.

New socks

But yes, it’s true. There are good days and bad days. There are great moments –laughter, fun, accomplishments, joy, comfort…And not so great moments–bitterness, anger, anxiety, numbness. I appreciate every message, text, card, and comment I get from all of you. It is all helping me get through this transitional time with as much grace and strength as I can muster. 

Support Us At Our LuLaRoe Fundraiser

Amy Mulder Photography

You are invited to our special event, Saturday, November 8, 2014 at Republic of Jam in Carlton, OR. 3:00-8:00 p.m. Stop by anytime and  say Hello! (I am also a hugger, so don’t be afraid if I hug you!) Guests will be able to shop LuLaRoe by Leah Ruth and Republic of Jam goodies* while enjoying music, appetizers, and drinks—and great company!

This will signal my return to work and I will be offering a special LuLaRoe by Leah Ruth Fall Trunk Show with a large selection of new clothing and exciting styles (like that super cute Amelia dress I am wearing in the photo above!) There will be a team of three lovely LuLa-Ladies joining me from Cannon Beach, OR and Tacoma, WA, bringing along more inventory! It is a very special, exciting event. Sizes available for girls are 2 – 8/10 for dresses and leggings and XXS-3XL for a variety of women’s styles –skirts, dresses, leggings, tops, and kimonos.

This is a great chance to stock up on fashionably comfortable pieces that flatter everyone. The dresses, skirts, tops, and kimonos are all made in the USA and at our event November 8th, LuLaRoe will match $1.00-3.00 for every item sold in donation to our family.  It has been a great joy for me to sell LuLaRoe this year and meet lovely and kind customers. Thank you to all of you who have written me emails and supported me through the last month! I am honored that my business venture will now be able to provide a way to support my family and give back to us in this time of transition and hardship.

Dan and I are also SO honored that our great little town is behind us and also providing support! There are numerous businesses supporting us and doing special donations and contributions Saturday the 8th, like profits of sales on wine bottles, yummy pizza, or gorgeous vintage inspired jewelry. It is all so fabulous and we love that this is a chance for us to get everyone we know together here in Carlton and show off everything we’ve got! Jam, macaroons, wine, microbrews, chocolate, ice cream, specialty gifts, etc.! We will have an updated list and descriptions shortly, so stay tuned!

*Speical thanks to ROJ who are also including web site sales for our friends and family afar!

Back to Work for Me!

At my favorite breakfast joint, Community Plate, in McMinnville.

I actually went back to my normally scheduled work week in McMinnville last week. I worked four shifts at the store, had a couple of meetings with my boss, and took a little bit of work home with me. I had set into motion my step down as Store Manager the day Dan went to the ER. I chose to do it to focus more time and energy on my own business, so I had no idea it would be necessary for a whole new reason.

This week will be some training and tying up some loose ends as I officially step down. My presence at the store will just be two shifts a week until we know more. It all depends on what I am able to schedule for my business and what Dan’s chemo treatments will be like. There are still a lot of unknowns (timing, frequency, side effects, overall prognosis) that make it difficult to plan very far ahead. I’m operating week to week with maybe the next month in mind.

It felt good to go back to work. Despite a panic attack the first time I walked in the store, I did fine and spent the week getting back into the swing of things. (In retrospect, I think the panic attack is because that is where I found out he was in the hospital, which started it all.) It was good to talk to customers and have normal interactions without them knowing my situation. It felt good to focus on something other than cancer, finances, or medications. At the same time, there were also moments where people (both at work and out in public) act greedy, rude, or petty, and I wanted to scream BE GRATEFUL! I knew this would happen, though. It was similar after the tornado last year. I felt I was a part of two realities and the people who were not aware of the tornado reality sometimes seemed to need more awareness. Everyday we are walking around blessed infinitely. I must resist the urge to shake people who don’t acknowledge it more.

Always on my phone!

While at moments it feels all too incredibly overwhelming, I have also been formulating a plan to get back to work for my business. It is exceptional what a small step away from my home office has done for me. Combined with our new cancer reality, and stopping all communications and events, I have a fresh perspective on my business and my vision for it moving forward. I am both excited and anxious. How can I run a business and take care of my husband and son? How can I give the best customer service and shopping experience when I am dealing with such raw emotionally and physically challenging circumstances? How do I ask for help and not try to do it all too much and too quickly?

But here is the amazing part…I sort of randomly fell into starting my own business and selling LuLaRoe, without a crystal clear reason why or a solid business plan. And when Dan and I decided together to have me start this venture, we had no idea what lay ahead. The owners of LuLaRoe have been supporting me since the day I started and they have reached out and supported us ever since we got Dan’s diagnosis. They envisioned a company that would provide a lifestyle for small business owners to work with them and create schedules of flexibility, joy, and togetherness with their loved ones in addition to some good ol’ fashioned hard work. So I really couldn’t be in better hands with a better business opportunity. 

And my customers? And my fellow LuLaRoe business owners across the country? Wow. You have all blown me away with your love and support. I can’t wait to give it all back tenfold. Stay tuned: Beautiful things on the horizon rising out of this struggle and sadness.