Dan's 41st Birthday

Lovely Gifts || Fingerprint Necklace

I found these necklace kits by Precious Metal Prints the day of my mother's funeral while I was obviously stalling by shopping ... So my sister and I each had an imprint made and now have necklaces. It is a special gift to carry a loved one's print with you or keep stored to pass on.

I found it most difficult to let go of my mother's hands. This helped.

Je ne sais pas où va mon chemin mais je sais que je marche mieux quand ma main serre la tienne. – Alfred de Musset

"I do not know where my path is going, but I know that I walk better when my hand holds yours."

Young Cancer Family Starts Gift Business - We Need Your Help!

{Medical Update: Dan’s shoulder replacement surgery was successful! He is such a rock star; he was sent home the following morning. Like, 24 hours later–In a giant hospital t-shirt that said “get moving,” super tight scrub pants, and no shoes. Clearly, I was not prepared with an overnight bag. He started physical therapy after two weeks of resting and is driving, cooking, and managing his pain well. We are keeping a close watch on his edema for signs of infection but so far so good!}

I developed this little hobby of making gift boxes full of wonderful goodies. I pretended it was a real business and gave it a name, complete branding with developed collections, a web site, and social media accounts (because, you know, I have to go big). I tested the market and the response was actually great! In a few weeks, I have shipped six orders and hand delivered ten. Every week I have had a new client. Not bad for making it all up as I go along.

The inspiration for my hobby was a talented designer with a similar aesthetic doing gift boxes in Portland. I watched her on Instagram for FIVE years, awe-inspired (and jealous) as she took her project from working in her garage to a studio in the city. My innate inspiration is a devotion to giving to others. I actually made my first gift box when I was five –crafted from an old bank check box– and filled it with colorings, love notes, and wrapped it with tracing paper (probably covered in hearts). I made my best friend, Allyson, deliver it for me because I was too shy. It is a great joy for me to build beautiful designs today with the same creativity and affection as I did as a child!

HOW YOU CAN HELP

Because we have a peculiar situation with being a young family living with incurable cancer (yikes! ugh), there are benefits and challenges to starting a business.

The benefit (Yes! There actually is one!) is that Dan became eligible for disability income when he was diagnosed. He started to receive this income when we moved to Illinois and it enabled him to be a stay-at-home dad while receiving a modest income to provide for his family. Because he is a stay-at-home dad, I became a stay-at-home wife! I go to all of his doctor appointments and we hang out a lot. Because I will never look back and regret spending so much time with him. Right? You only live once. So then, the two of us can easily run our business from home, and renting and sharing a house with Grandpa Don (part of adjusting to our income) also gives us a huge garage for storage and equipment. And we get Grandpa Don, who crafts boxes for us and teaches me!!!

The challenge? To be honest, two years after his diagnosis, we filed bankruptcy. Without the excellent credit we previously had, we are unable to get a start-up loan. We have put what few pennies we could into developing our initial gift box designs and marketing them to get our initial clients. Now we are at an impasse. We need a significant sum to take us the next step forward–to making a profit that can be put back into the business so it can grow. As it grows, it will provide a steady income for our family. The current next step involves basic goals — being able to register as a business, purchase significant inventory, set-up e-commerce on our web site, improve our woodworking equipment, and print business cards.

Our goals can be reached because of Kickstarter. Please help our family on Kickstarter!

Kickstarter enables creative entrepeneurs to garner funding to establish their product or business from a community of small and large donors. It is an online service similar to GoFundMe, that allows users to contribute money. However, in this scenario, we are set up for a 30 day campaign and are only accepting pledges because your credit card is not charged unless we reach our goal – $15,000 – by our deadline – April 1st.

And we reward every level pledged! When we reach our goal, you will have helped AND you will get a reward from us! Pledges start at $5 and reach $300. Every pledge receives a gift. Please join the amazing backers we have so far!

Please help our family on Kickstarter!

Medical Update || Shoulder Surgery & Radiation Results

We spent a Saturday evening in Chicago celebrating the 40th birthday of our bestie, Corey. (Shout out to Corey! He is the reason we ended up dating and getting married.) Dan had just enough energy to live it up and enjoy being with friends.

So this guy likes to keep me on my toes. Wednesday Dan will have surgery for a complete shoulder replacement. First thing I know is that his shoulder hurt while he golfed, and then all of the sudden we are in for a matrix bionic shoulder!

Ok, that might be extreme, but I have seen the sling he will need to use and it kind of makes him look like Robocop anyway. I am anxious about his recovery. He has had some serious fatigue the last few weeks. I think it is a cumulative effect from being on a full three months of Alcensa. (Maybe radiation related too? It’s no cake-walk for the body...)

My primary anxiety is the thought of him getting any sort of infection during or after surgery, so just keep us in your thoughts.

During all of his pre-op appointments, Dan did follow up with our oncology team which included the radiologist. His bloodwork continues to be good on Alcensa. His MRI showed the round of targeted radiation three monthsh ago accomplished its task, so we are good to go for the next while. Go ahead and pop your champagne.

I am caught in an awkward place of loving this man with everything inside of me and also thinking of his physiology; the risks of everything and the impact of every decision. I know we are so lucky to even be able to address something that is a source of pain for him and allow him to have surgery. I am also devestated by the conclusion that the majority of the deterioration of his shoulder is due to the steroids over the past three years. Damn cancer. But how can I complain about one deteriorated joint? I grieve so often for young ALKs like Dan who have lost their lives.

This is a wild place to exist in–this stage 4 lung cancer reality. I often look at him and don’t realize what has happened—it is just him. But more times than not, I am taking it all into a full account. I risk sounding moody and gloomy for the fact that I feel I have to give an honest account of our journey. It is ours alone, after all. Just us.

Sunday Notes || 2.4.18

Things that made me smile the last two weeks … What made you smile?

Having drinks with my neighbor and friend, Taylor, Friday. We used some of my mom’s glasses from the hutch collections to sip our blueberry sour lambic. She helped me untangle ribbon for the gift boxes. We talked about anything and everything while the kids played. You know, adulthood?

Raine describing the new business to his buddy: My mom got a business. She makes boxes (gesturing to them). She puts little surprises inside and when people open them, they’re like, “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Should I make that my tag line?

The sun. I know everyone here thinks it is so gloomy and awful in the winter, but OMG THE SUN. There is so much sunlight through the winter! Oregon truly is vampire land. (Don’t get me wrong–I still miss home.)

 

Berry. I can’t have a baby so I got a hamster. Every time I see her, she makes me smile. She’s just so darn cute!!! She is usually in Raine’s bedroom but I like to bring her out and sit her next to me while I’m at the computer. She performs parkour sometimes. Just like Raine.

I finally put a bookcase together for our bedroom. I KNOW. ISN’T THIS EXCITING STUFF. If you can believe it, I still feel like I am moving in and trying to get settled–after 8 months. There have been stages to move through learning how to make the space ours and honor my mom while packing some things away or using them ourselves. It’s tricky. Anyway, as I accomplish parts of nesting, it makes me smile. And I think she would like what I have done.

Watching Dan read. It fills my heart up. We both read voraciously as children and young adults. Somewhere in life, though, you get busy as you get older and it is easy to lose that habit. I’ve said it before that he has enjoyed reading more since his diagnosis. He read at chemo treatments and now that he is using disability and not working, he reads so much. And he is fast. He just finished The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman (he recommends it) and is currently reading Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby. I just finished Homegoing and loved it.

My dad and I built our first wooden box together and it took two hours. We ended up with a smaller box than intended because we couldn’t figure out what we were doing wrong when it didn’t fit right. We kept cutting until I wondered if we were going to have anything left? We slept on it and both realized we should have had a design planned. Regardless, he fixed it.

I'm finally realizing the dream of a gift box business!

The Garfield Conservatory

Sunday, Sunday || Ed. 1

We survived another week! Time for another.

Things that made me smile … What made you smile?

• The kindness and generosity of somone who is going to help us get Hobbes treatment to remove the tumor on his tummy.
• Creating a new playroom for Raine so that he can pretend he is an American Ninja Warrior.
• Vegan cookies from a local restaurant, Cyd's. My options are thin for a dairy allergy, so when in Peoria ... I buy 4 cookies and live large! I would share a photo but I ate them too fast.

• Catching up with friends. Celebrity name drop! TAYLOR BLACK. JON BYLER DAN. ALLYSON PATTERSON.

• The support of my psychiatrist and hot therapist to find a way to coupon it UP and score me my $600 generic Abilify for $24. (Hint: This involves using the interwebs and Costco.) If it weren’t for them, and Dan’s support, I would have not tried the med. But this new tiny 5 mg is making a huge difference. We think...

• Sympathy cards in the mail for the loss of my Aunt Joan. You might not think people still appreciate a card in the mail — but we do.
• I finished a puzzle. First one from my wish list of Eboo puzzles. Time to save up for #2.
• I love me some Pinterest but every once in a while? A magazine, posterboard, and tape is so gratifying. Call me old fashioned.

• Making a collage. Old school with tape and magazine photos.
• My husband. Just him. I smile always in my heart while it bursts with love.

• I have 8 orders for my gift box hobby before even sharing the link to the order form or information about them. It looks like it is time to launch the biz..! Like, in the next 24 hours. Valentine’s Day will be here fast. I'll name the biz ... Cardinal + Finch.